I am not a religious man. Nor is this a spiritual poem. The elegance of the universe itself is absolutely astounding. The laws it abides by, working together in such beautiful harmony to create everything we see around us. Not a haphazard set of laws – conflicting, brutal, battering. Rather, peaceful. Abiding. Such basic, simple laws cascading downward, building upon each other to create what exists today.

I am a software developer. I strive for elegance each and every day. Never will I be able to demonstrate elegance to such a degree as nature. But one would be unwise not to take notice and to learn from the ultimate example. Each thing that exists is a consequence of basic laws. There is no extra work. No shortcuts. Just patience. Everything is what it is. No hacks. No workarounds. Nothing glued together. Just. Pure. Elegance.

I am pulled in either direction, swinging erratically from side to side, unable to grasp the ledge beside me. At times both sides fight. I feel as though I am being pulled apart – each ledge desiring my presence. Then I swing once again. For I can not have both at once.

On one ledge stands Deception. Tantalizing, encouraging. It promises escape. It promises overbearing joy and relief. Yet the ledge is short. But it may be worth it. A vacation. No; to the other ledge I swing. There stands Face. The face of myself. The face of truth. It promises knowledge. It promises guidance. It promises answers and restoration. But the ledge is rough. Endless. It contains many sharp edges and loose terrain. The risk of injury is great. Face and Deception stare at each other blankly. I begin to swing back to the other side. I watch Face shrink into the distance. I know I may only have one. Without my weight, the rope will no longer swing. I will be stranded. There is no way to cross.

I turn to stare into the eyes of Deception. His eyes engulf me. I restore my gaze upon Face. But he is not the same. Face has become Agony. Surprised and afraid, I return my gaze to Deception. He has become Joy. The pendulum stops. I float amongst Joy’s presence. He offers his hand to me. Time stands still. My mind races. I look behind him; I start across what now appears to be a vast terrain of unsurmountable beauty – a vista of indescribable proportions. My hand begins to rise. I watch the breeze blow through the grass and trees. I feel it hit my face. I smell the bliss of the summer day and close my eyes. “Desire…” I whisper. “NO!” The word races through my skull. My eyes shoot open. I meet with the gaze of Deception. The vista turns to fire.

Time returns.

I begin to fall.

Horrified, I turn to Agony. With each second I grow closer. The pain within me builds. My hands tighten around the rope. My eyes seal shut. I brace myself and summon the strength. The swinging stops. The pain climaxes. I grow faint. The pain stops. A soothing essence brushes over me. My muscles relax. I slowly open my eyes. I stare into the eyes of Face. My vision shifts behind him. The terrain remains unchanged. Rocky, desolate, dangerous, vast. I look again at Face. He remains unchanged. I turn behind me. Deception smiles back. He beckons me closer. I behind to fall.

Face does nothing to aid me.

I stare below me. An endless abyss. There is no way off this pendulum but one of the two ledges. I look up as I start to rise. Above me lies Deception. His smile draws me closer. I am hypnotized by his gaze. “Relax…”. My thoughts cease. I stare blankly. My vision blurs. I can no longer see Deception. My eyes roll back. I begin to dream.

The second course
Sweeter than the first
The stomach pains grow again
Of each bite I’m wary, but I continue
Maybe the stomach pains will distract me

With the last bite, I look around for more
Sitting alone, hoping eternal the taste in my mouth
Regret sinks in, but I do not mind
Bring on the stomach pains
What else have I tonight

The first person I would call
To share all my happy moments
Or dreadful, sorrowful news
To exclaim success and triumph
Or to proclaim “I do!”

The one with whom I would share
Every part of me
My love, my sorrow, my oddities

I had no need or worry
About other friends
Because I would always have this woman
By my side
No matter what

Together we had planned a journey
My life had a direct course
I knew where I was going
She was my becon – my torch

The path was paved in security
Lined with beautiful greens
We could walk for years
Without looking back, or taking breaks

But then one day it thundered
The darkened greens became a fright
The paved path beneath us
Collapsed into mud
The rain began to fall
Onto my shining torch
And no longer could I see her
I was on this path alone

To look around me now
Is confusing and sorrowful
My body aches from walking
In this gripping mud
My thoughts are spinning
From the fightful sights
My love has been taken
Somewhere into this night

I thought this journey would end
Together with my light
No rush, no worry, no wandering
But now, I can’t decide
I look back behind me
And then I look in front
But I can feel nothing
The warmth beside me is gone

So I continue walking
Try to keep my head high
Hopefully one day my light will return
And shine forever bright

But until that time comes
I will journey alone
This road is not the same
I know not where it will go

Perhaps I am mistaken
And the storm will pass
And then I will realize
It is the same path
And with the storm forgotten
She will be able to shine
And maybe we will continue
Along this trusy line

But what if when all clears
I’m still left alone
What if we’ve lost eachother
At an unseen fork in the road

Be careful on your journey
Always watch the skies
Be sure to take shelter
If winds begin to blow
Hunker up together
Hold on
Don’t let go

I think into my past
Where every moment hurt
Mended oh so purely
By a lovely girl
I felt my old heart ache
I felt pains pierce my chest
And then they were comforted
Bad thoughts put to rest
I felt my hopeful moments
I remembered happy thoughts
And now they were unending
Encouraged all so much
I remembered my old smile
Littered with regret
But all had been forgotten
By this beauty that I’d met
With each pleasent moment
Existed thrice the ‘mount of love
The thought of being with her
I couldn’t hold close enough
And now I look at you
Forsaken and afraid
Of what may lay ahead of me
In these future days
Such good times you showed me…
Yet, my feelings hurt
But I refuse to crawl
Back into that dirt
All those cold emotions
That I thought I’d lost
Once again resurfaced
With such an endless cost
I hoped that you were good for me
But together we planted a seed
Of a slow but steady burden
That I was too hopeful and ignorant to read
I wished you would be good for me
And still I hope inside
But I’m unable to survive
Another roller coaster ride

My thoughts will be shaken…
My will will be weakened…
All will feel against me..
Nobody will guide me..
But I’ll be my own guide.
I’ll stand by my own side.
Watch me grow stronger.

And my sight has shown me…
How the world will behold me…
I feel my face lighten..
I feel my grip strengthen..
Life’s presence surrounds me.
My hope is abounding.
Watch me grow higher.

My thoughts have grown brighter…
My will has grown sounder…
And though I was week..
Behold, I am stronger!
And from my new perch,
The landscape appears so hopeful.
I look up.
The world is beautiful.

Young minds
Cradled by their mother
So pure and willing
Open to guidance

Young minds gather
Knowledge of their mother
Their ways paved
By a helping hand

Young minds seek
To further themselves
Mother protects them
From certain danger

Young minds dream
Silence such nightmares
Mother protects
Mother comforts

Young minds infected
By lies of bias
By slave-built paths
By deceptive hand

Young minds betrayed
Caged inside
Mother defeats them
Prevents certain change

Young minds beaten
Thoughts of twisted reality
Mother hinders
Mother disugises

Young minds flee
Mother beckons
Mother scolds
Mother punishes

Young minds rebel
Mother turns against them
Mother refutes them
Mother abandons them

This poem was written for myself to release my own thoughts and emotions, but for others conveys a message. This isn’t one of those cryptic morals – it’s plainly obvious. Something many in today’s society need to learn to abide by, or at least consider.

Part I
To the sky
I look
The horizon
Level with my eyes
Kingdom spanned
Throughout my entire vision
Far below my perch
And I sigh
I look below me
I see the dots pass
I see normal lives
I envy
I hold the robe in my hand
Feel the silk slide through my fingers
And fall back into place
I realize
My crown, I touch
My eyes, roll up
An attempt to see what lay upon me
My hands, they lift
The curse from my head
The crown, I set
Upon the sill of unrest
I feel the breeze
Through the window out which I gaze
Garments blow softly
The gentle air rubs my cheek
And whispers
In her cryptic tongue
But I understand the language
I look down
At my spoiled chest I gaze
My garments I let fall
And with it my burden
Across the hell-spawn room
I walk to monstrous doors
They open with the sound of pity
Warning me to stay
But I ignore them
I glance around
Such treacherous attire
Bright and shining,
Dark and glistening,
I could want nothing less.
To the very left
My eyes catch a cloak of sorrow
Unworn for as long as time could tell
From it I brush the dust
And slide it onto my cleansed vessel
I look down at the torn arm
The brown and white, dirty color
The worn and battered look
I gaze at the beaten cap
With jagged edges and eaten top
I place it upon my head
I smile

Part II
I walk back to the window
Greeted by a furious breeze
I hear a grind
The sound of metal on stone
I look down at the crown
A remnant of a former evil
I gaze far beneath me
Onto the royal court
I glance for others nearby
To ensure their safety
Then with a light tap
The curse tumbles to the earth
And shatters with a roar
Commanding the gaze of all in sight
To witness its murder
Then rise to witness the doer
I stand tall
I feel the confusion
I feel my relief
I take a moment to adore the silence
Then I cast out the burden
To rest upon the cold corpse

Part III
It hits.
They panic.
They rush.
They’re coming.
They do not agree with my decision.
Perhaps they’re fearful.
Perhaps furious?
Maybe both.
It does not matter to me.
Such matters are left to the King
His majesty will surely-
Alas.
His majesty has fallen.
His shattered remains lay beneath his burdened cloak
Ah
His majesty
A person they say?
No…majesty is a curse, you see.
A curse of which I have rid myself
So they can not come for him
He is not here.
I am anew.

Part IV
I step outside into the hallway.
Their steps echo through the halls
I wonder
Would they recognize this face?
Without all the “blessings”?
I do not fear.
I see them in the distance.
I walk toward them.
They push me aside
And continue to His quarters
I smile.
I continue down the steps
“Where is he?!” they shout
Unfortunate, I think
Without their King, won’t they be lost?
It is no longer my concern.
Down the towers I descend
Frantic voices fade into the sky
My foot touches the ground
Dirt.
Unpaved.
Unfit for a King.
Fortunately I am not unlike any other.
This road welcomes me.
Onto it I happily stray
Into the village of my brothers and sisters
The kingdom below.

Part V
“Sir?”
Alas.
Peace eludes me.
“Are you not the King?”
Those that have seen me only from a distance
Recognize me far better than the royal guard
“You are mistaken”
My reply is in vein.
The nearby guard comes to look
Angerly, he pushes my brother back
“How DARE you!” he shouts
His anger spills from his breath
Like a cold fog
“How DARE you confuse HIM with the KING!?”
He attempts to hit him
I grab hold of the weapon
He spits violence at me
“How dare you interfere!”
He hits me.
I fall to the ground.
I bleed.
He kicks me.
I groan.
I spit blood.
He picks me up
My shirt tears
My breast – revealed
The royal seal.
Branded as a child.
He drops me.
Fearfully, he backs away
Eyes widened with fright and disbelief
Should it be so hard?
So hard to believe that a King -
of a retired position, of course -
Could look like any other?
I slowly rise from my pool
He begs for forgiveness
For mercy.
Fortunately, I have no such corruption.
I walk toward him
I pick up his weapon
I hold it threateningly
Then throw it aside
He falls to his knees
Thanks me with tears
Other guard rush out
Attempt to seize me
“NO!” he shouts
With an outstretched arm
“He is the King!”
“No!” I shout
With an arm of my own
“Curse my royal blood
I am no King!”

Part VI
They glare at me
“You betray your kingdom”
No.
I betray nothing.
Anger consumes my voice.
“You betray THEIR kingdom!”
I point an erect arm behind me
Toward its citizens
Staring, filthy faces
Filled with surprise
Mourning
Confusing
“Relinquish your weapons
Liberate my funds
To the people – I pray
Let not a single one continue to suffer
As your wretched party dines in their sweat
See that is done now
For if I must return
It will be with an army
Of every person behind me”
I turn my back
Fragments of words uttered behind me
I walk away
Paying no attention to their obedience
But instead to the smiling and surprised faces
I then turn the corner
And lose myself
In my new
Identity.